This is the first 1,000 characters of 4953 words (19.81 pages) in the essay titled Jokes
You might be a redneck if...
1.You've ever put a dead snake in the road to watch cars stop and run over it several times.
2.Every time you see a roadsign that says "DIP" you reach in your back pocket.
3.You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
4.You have to throw down a rope ladder to get out of your truck.
5.You have to hit the dashboard in your truck to get the lights and radio to work.
6.The tires on your pick-up are taller than your children.
7.The duct tape on your car seat sticks to your butt when you get out.
8.Shopping for dinner involves an orange vest.
9.Your school dress code contains the line "Shoes Optional".
10.You've ever worn hunter's orange to church.
11.You have barnyard animals living in your house.
12.Every pair of jeans you own has a tobacco can ring worn in one of the rear pockets.
13.Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, "Gun control is a steady hand."
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